Thursday, 22 May 2014

INTERVIEW WITH A WEIRDO: Publication day musings with Natasha Desborough

Welcome to the Day of the Bumskulls! 

This is day that WEIRDOS VS BUMSKULLS (by right weirdo Natasha Desborough) is unleashed upon the world. 

WEIRDOS VS. BUMSKULLS by Natasha Desborough 
Catnip 9781846471827 £6.99

Funnier, weirder, ruder - Blossom is back. 
Blossom and Petrina, school weirdos, are on a (natural) high after their band Camel Toe shared the bill with International Rock God Josh Raven. Now they have the chance to perform at a real festival when they enter Battle of the Bands

But then Blossom meets Vince (AKA MANCAKE), sexy lead singer of rival band Bumskulls. And supposedly loved-up Petrina has been spotted staring (dribbling) at the bass player... 

Amidst a churning whirlpool of love, sex and music, can the Weirdos keep their quest for musical domination on track or will it all go norks up?

To celebrate the publication of this hilariously funny, delightfully rude and utterly brilliant book (which I am ridiculously proud to be able to publish), I thought it would be nice to interview Natasha and get an insight into her strange mind. I knew she would be difficult to pin down now she's a super-awesome author busy doing author things, but all it took was a few emails, some phone calls and a threatening letter that I wrote in my own blood and then Natasha kindly agreed.  

So I channeled my inner Jeremy Paxman and asked the deep, probing questions that everyone needs to know.    

1. Hello Natasha and welcome to the Catnip blog! I've locked the door so you can't leave. Could you please start by describing yourself in three words. (None of them can be swears.) 

A bit odd.

2. Let's play Snog Marry Avoid. We'll start off with some characters from the book.

Josh Raven, Vince Aston-Granger and Matthew Ludlow

(AKA an international rock god, a local sexy MANCAKE and Matthew Ludlow.)  

OK, first of all, let’s pretend that I’m not a withered, saggy middle-aged woman so that this answer doesn’t sound too revolting. Are we ready? OK - I’d snog Vince – as I dreamed him up to look like just the kind of boy I would have fancied when I was sixteen. He’d never have looked at me back then as I was a chubby, pale-faced teenager who dressed like a farmer. Then I’d marry Matthew as he is LOVELY and I’d avoid Josh Raven because he’s a rock star and having kissed a few in my time, I know there is no point and I might catch a cold sore.

3. Now we'll try it with some proper famous celebs.

Dave Grohl, Robbie Williams, Dougie Poynter

This is TOO easy. I’d marry Dave Grohl. When I interviewed him for my breakfast show on Xfm he gave me a kiss ON THE LIPS (though he didn’t give me a cold sore) and then gave me a special gift (which I still have and keep under my bed). I interpreted this as a sign of his love for me and I am ready to divorce my current husband whenever Dave says the word. Then I’d snog Dougie Poynter from McFly because he is GORGEOUS and looks like I imagined Vince would in Bumskulls (look at the Bumskulls cover. It’s Dougie). And finally, I’d avoid Robbie Williams because he looks like a big hairy baby. I’d have had a rethink if it had been Jason Orange instead. He’s HOT.

4. Would you rather… have trotters for hands or the face of a pig?

I had the face of a pig when I was a teenager. I had a porky face that went bright pink when I was embarrassed or fancied someone (which was ALL the time). My nose was a bit too long and pointed to be an actual snout, but otherwise I could easily have passed as a pig in DMs and a lumberjack shirt. I survived the ‘pig face’ phase once and I could do it again so I’ll take that option and give the trotters a miss.

5. Now imagine you are Blossom at the beginning of WEIRDOS VS. BUMSKULLS. Would you rather… win Battle of the Bands or get a hot sexy rock star boyfriend?

Win Battle of the Bands of course. That way all the hot rock star boys would want to snog me anyway. I’d have the best of both worlds. And loads of cold sores.

6. Let’s play I Have Never. I’ll go first. I have never strapped any processed foods to my chest. How about you?

I see what you’re doing there. You know that the scene in WEIRDOS VS QUIMBOIDS where Blossom ends up with two pieces of processed ham Sellotaped to her chest is based on an event from my own real life. You obviously want me to spill the beans. Well, I can’t. It’s top secret. Let’s just say that the real event was much, much worse than the scene in Quimboids and that the ham wasn’t Sellotaped to my chest. We’ll leave it there shall we? Next question.

7. YOU ARE ON A DESERT ISLAND. Which book, luxury item and person would you have with you?

Okay, I’m going to strike you a deal here. Can I swap the book for a couple of great Bluetooth speakers? Because my luxury item would be an iPod crammed full of new music and classic albums. Is it bad that as an author I’d rather take music than a book with me? But I would be making up stories in my head to amuse myself too. And as for the person? Well, I’d need another music lover to chat for hours/days/years about music. I suppose that’s what I do with my husband anyway, but I fancy a change. So Dave Grohl please. No, actually Chris Packham from Springwatch. He’s lovely and grumpy and I quite fancy him at the moment. He’ll do nicely.

8. YOU ARE IN PRISON. What crime did you commit to get there?

I once said a really, really bad swear word on primetime live TV and during the horribly severe telling off that I received afterwards, I thought they might send me to prison. So perhaps I would go to prison for doing bad swears. My swears are pretty badass.

9. If you could be any character from your books, who would you be? And how about from someone else’s book?

I’m already in the Weirdos books. I’m sort of spread over a few of the characters. A bit of Blossom, a dash of Walter and a LOT of Matthew. If I could be a character in someone else’s book – well I hate myself for saying this but I’d like to find out what it’s like to be cool and have hot boyfriends. So I’d be one of the twins from the Sweet Valley High series. But just for one day and I wouldn’t want to be Elizabeth, the boring frigid one. I’d be Jessica so that I could snog the boy with the moustache on the cover of ‘All Night Long’. Is it weird that I once actually fancied a drawing of a fictional boy?

I wanted the Catnip blog readers to be able to make an informed decision on this, so I have found the boy with the moustache.

10. Finally, could you describe WEIRDOS VS. BUMSKULLS in a sentence? (All the words must be swears.) (Joke.)

I’m not going to lie – I just spent over an hour trying to answer this stupid question. And you know what? I can’t do it. The best I came up with was ‘A weirdo encounters a massive bush’ which is true but I don’t think really does the book justice. WEIRDOS VS. BUMSKULLS is funny, rude and I’m extremely proud of it.

And we at Catnip are proud to a ridiculous degree that we are able to bring the Weirdos out into the world. 

If you haven't already seen what Natasha was up to before I locked her in my interview cupboard, then do go and check these out!

Tuesday 13th May
SNEAK PEEK chapter extract on The Overflowing Library

Thursday 15th May Reveal of 'Nork-Grabbing Quimboid' the new single by Blossom's band, Camel Toe, on Wondrous Reads

Tuesday 20th May Character playlists - listen to the soundtracks for all the main characters in WEIRDOS VS. BUMSKULLS on Readaraptor

And keep an eye out next week for:

Tuesday 27th May Battle of the Bands! Musical talents from the character playlists battle it out in front of judge Natasha Desborough and hosted by SisterSpooky

Thursday 29th May Online dating - Weirdos style with Natasha Desborough and YA Yeah Yeah.

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